If I was to tell you my hairloss journey was easy, that would be a lie. There are nights where I lie awake, not able to sleep. I worry about the way I look, what people think, am I still me? This disorder nearly took my self esteem. I wonder why it chose to affect me.

But now I am finally accepting the way I am. My flaws and my perfections, my bald patches and my thinning eyelashes. What was once a dark path now finally is starting to brighten up.

I don’t care what people think. People can stare, point, laugh at me all they want.

So what I have Alopecia? I can still be happy.

Today I had my first visit to the dermatologist.

The doctor was lovely. I’ve never, ever met someone so enthusiastic about skin.

“Hello im a gp from hyde and im a teeny bit obbsessed with skin!”

Seriously, she was off her rocker and oh my god her language. Can doctors even swear? Because she definitely did.

We had a twenty or so minute conversation about my hair and the fact that it’s a waiting game. Take each day at a time.

Alopecia has no set rules. Some people’s hair with grow back, some peoples won’t. It may grow back and stay. It might grow back and 12 months later fall out again.

Basically, no one knows and the steroid treatments available aren’t guaranteed to work either.

I chose against any treatement. The main reason is that I’m still breastfeeding my son and there is some chance of steroids being transfer to my milk. The other reason is I’m shit scared of needles.

“Basically Alopecia is a bastard and you should blame your mum and dad for your shitty genes.” 

I’ve more than likely inherited Alopecia from my parents and gandparents. We have a huge family history of autoimmune disorders ranging from thyroid issues to diabetes and arthritis. The autoimmune disorder has been passed down to me but come out as something different (thanks parents.)

So, really now it’s a case of learning to love and accept the new me.

I am not defined by my hair or my image, but by my mind and feelings.

Yes, I have Alopecia and yes, I am happy 😊


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