So, I haven’t posted for a whole month and I apologise for that. But don’t worry I haven’t misplaced my son or accidentally kill him or anything. Promise. He’s still annoying the shit out of me as usual and just discovered the round-a-bouts on the market. I’m now £4.50 down.
Two weeks ago my life changed. That may sound dramatic, but for a 21 year old girl, losing your hair really is that traumatic.
I’d noticed my hair thinning but not taken a huge amount of notice to it. Then last Monday morning I woke and my pillow was covered in hair. Running to the bathroom mirror I realised I had a small patch of hair missing at the nape of my neck. Nothing dramatic. My hair still tied up and was only noticeable when I pointed it out.
I ignored it. Took no notice. Pretended it wasn’t there.
The next day more had disappeared and two small patches had appeared on my scalp. It was smooth as Jacks arse. No sign of hair. Why weren’t my legs that bloody smooth?!
From the pictures here it seems nothing. Nothing anyone would notice but I was majorly paranoid already. Why at 21 was my hair falling out? I ate reasonably healthy and I slept well.
At the doctors I was told I had Alopecia Areata.
Id heard of Alopecia before and the I mage of bald people appeared in my head. No eyebrows, no eyelashes.
It kinda terrified me. I was ginger! Being ginger gave me my sense of identity. If I lost that I wouldn’t be me.
The doctor sent me for blood tests and very bluntly told me there isn’t much that can be done. She told me I could be lucky and just lose what had already gone, it might grow back, I could lose some more, I could lose it all. Then she told me to go home and google it. That was it.
Two weeks later this is my current situation:
Ive lost all in all about 25% of my hair and more is falling out. I’m missing hair on my scalp and at the front of my hair line too.
I’m not going to lie it’s killing me. I cry over it and it really does break my heart.
And to anyone who says “it’s only hair” it doesn’t help in the slightest. According to society it’s the difference between attractive and not. To me it’s the difference between wanting to leave the house and not. Who wants a bald girlfriend?
But, at the end of the day I’ve just got to learn to live with it. I can’t change the way my body is dealing with whatever is going on.
I’m learning to embrace wearing a headscarf and pintrest has become my new best friend. I’ve found an awesome online community to share my positive days and the days when I feel like crying myself to sleep.
My boys still love me and my family is still here.
I guess now is the time to really learn to love myself.
Peace out ✌🏻