Today we spent the morning at our local IKEA. Every Tuesday is a mums and babies coffee morning along with a NCT sling and cloth cloth nappy library as well as Homestart breastfeeding support. The group takes over the cafe and is basically a room full of hormonal women who have just had babies and parents yelling at there kids who keep running off (yes, you Jack).

Actually, it’s fantasic and without it I wouldn’t have really had half the friends I do. It’s relaxed and all the parents – and kids – that are there are amazing. It’s great to have a good natter with minds that think alike and share expirences with those that having the same ones as you.

I am meant to be an NCT volenteer and help demo and hire out the slings and carriers. Today I didn’t get chance because my little shit of a toddler thought it would be a good idea to get SUPER hyperactive. I lost count the amount of times he went AWOL and the number of times I was pulling him off other children he was getting a little too close too.

Here are 20 things I’ve thought or said today whilst dealing with my delightful son.

1. WHERE THE F**K HAS JACK GONE?

2. Put the chewing gum down.

3. Is it legal to us extendable dog leads on children?

4. Please, please, please don’t try and hug her. *THUD* Oh god Jack.

5. Stop spinning or you’ll fall ….. over.

6. Please sit down.

7. GET BACK HERE NOW!

8. That isn’t yours put it back.

9. Take the penny out of your mouth.

10. Are you tired? Want to go bow-bows?

11. Run off one more time and I’ll strangle you.

12. You’re actually pretty cute……Never mind 🙃

13. Why didn’t I bring spare clothes?

14. Please don’t touch the newborn.

15. Aww look, he’s being gentle. Wait, no. JACK, the poor boy doesn’t want kissing!

16. Give the girl her shoe back.

17. Where’s your shoe?

18. Where did you find that? Oh god, its mouldy 😫

19. Can I have a cuddle? I’ll take that as a no.

20. GO TO SLEEP PLEASE!!!

He eventually feel asleep on the way home. Now I need to go shopping and so far he’s not showing any signs of movement.

Some you win, some you lose.

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